I’ve missed a post or two. I meant to write but somehow got sidetracked. Today life keeps kicking me unpleasantly. Not those little kicks under the table but a full out walk-around-the-corner-and-get-kicked-by-a-mule type kicks. The type of kicks that made the physical comedy of The Three Stooges funny.
I’m not laughing though.
I have shed a few tears but mostly I just shoved everything back to deal with later. Now it is bedtime and I feel the restrains I put on my emotions weakening. I want to cry and throw up at the same time. It’s been a rough day.
My sleep was filled with dreams last night. I cannot recall them but I have brief snatches, like catching a flash of color out of the corner of your eye. I was awakened by clawing and meowing at my bedroom door at five a.m. because my furry mistress and master decided it was breakfast time.
I am still not quite awake and I would love to lay down and cuddle with my pillow again but I know if I go back to sleep I will be haunted by nightmares. I’m tired but I am in a semi foul mood and that is not a good combination.
My stomach is tied in knots, probably because I didn’t wake up on my own, but I feel apprehensive as well. It’s like I am waiting for something unpleasant to happen. I will probably feel better after a warm shower and a cup of tea…and with the sun actually up.
I can sit on the porch and watch the sun rise this morning with a nice cup of chai, that should raise my spirits. Still, it is good to record my current unease for two reasons.
One: It makes me feel better.
Two: It might come in handy someday with a story.
So if I finally get something written, polished, and ready for audience consumption enough to put it up on Amazon; and someone who reads this blog also reads that work and finds a scene were a character is awoken by cats and left with a sense of unease….you know where it came from.