No Brakes?

rails-253134_1280Sometimes life moves so fast it feels as if you are going down hill on a runaway train. I keep thinking things are going to mellow out. My kids started back to school last week. I am still waiting for the newness to turn into routine. I need it to soon because next week I start back to school for the first time in years.

How am I supposed to toss another ball into the air when I am not certain that I can juggle what I have? Ready or not, my time in training at work will be over Thursday and I get to see if I can fend for myself in the wild…er I mean call center. (The wild would probably be easier.)

My new job will depend on what team I am picked for. Some people already know which study-1355437_1280teams they will be on. I don’t yet.  It kind of feels like I am back in middle school; the short, glasses wearing asthmatic everyone picked last.

I still feel like I am faking my way through knowing what I am doing. I do my best and make my best guesses but I’ve had a few moments where I’ve been pulled aside and had my mistakes pointed out. It isn’t malicious. I am glad they let me know. How else am I to learn?

It’s just that I have spent a long time more or less knowing how to do my job. This however, is all new and there is so much to absorb. Going in I did not realize it was going to be such an information dump. I worry that I am not up to the challenge.

So recap: The kids are back in school. New  work responsibilities start Thursday. ( I can’t even prepare because I don’t know what clown-587234_1280they will be.) Monday my classes start. The following Monday my schedule work changes.

If I can’t manage to juggle all of these responsibility balls, then I may run away and join the circus. Surely physical objects would be easier.

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To write a book…

charlie-chaplin-392926_1280When I was in school I hated American History. I thought it was boring. I thought that since other countries had been around so much longer, they were obviously much more interesting.

Now that I am older, I am no longer so excluding. For the past few weeks I’ve been focused on the American Civil War. My attention was peaked last year when I did some family history research. It was more recently that I received a book of local ghost stories that pinged that interest again.

Then I spoke with another writer who I greatly admire. I told him that I had been thinking about writing a book that takes place during the civil war. I recounted what I had found out about my family, and he said: That sounds like a good place to start. Why don’t you?

That “Why don’t you?” Has been echoing around the empty cavern of my skull for weeks.

I tried to use the excuse, “Well, life has so many changes going on right now, with the new job and going back to school…”

My inner writer answered with, “You don’t work on the weekends and part of your degree is going to be in History anyway.”

Then the dragon of self doubt raised its head and said, “Do you really think you can find anime_dragon_1024x768-634320the time to write a book? Look how well that has worked in the past. You have three unfinished novels sitting on your computer right now. And remember that rejection letter. The one that hit the mark so well.”

The dragon almost got me. Then I remembered the rejection letter it was reminding me of was the catalyst I needed to pull up my boots and march back to school. The three unfinished novels reminded me that my current way of writing isn’t working very well and I need to try something new. (Not that those three will never be finished. Two are honestly in a rewrite stage but I changed things and got stuck in the muddle in the middle. Then proceeded to wallow in the muck.)

So now, with so many things already on my plate and with so many new challenges to face, I find myself stacking yet another task on top. I’m going to write a book. Sanderson Quote-800wi

Changes come to Camelot

Hello everyone. I’ve been slacking a bit lately when it comes to blog posts. The truth is life
has been full of changes recently, which has left my mind foggy. It is hard to pick one thing to write about when there is so much going on and it is even harder when you are smack dab in the middle of all the changes that are happening.

Change is one of the constants in life. Things always change. Today is a big day for change too. Today I say good bye to the best boss I’ve ever had the pleasure of working for. She is off to greener pastures (and hopefully better pay).

It isn’t good bye forever of course. It is just the boss/employee part of our life journey has come to an end. Now, I hope we will stay connected as friends.

There will be more at a later date of the other changes going on in my life, but for the moment I will leave you with a poem that pretty much sums up how I am feeling.castle-195105_1280

Camelot Falls

By Tammi A. Miller

Camelot has fallen

Mordred is at the gate

The table is now splintered

And our lives left up to fate

Our Royal leader must depart

To travel Avalon’s golden shores

We are knights without direction,

Boats who have come unmoored

We will not long stay adrift

Using knowledge our leader taught

Yet a bit of worldly good is gone

Such a truth can not be fought

Our banner has been trampled

The staff broken by unnamed foes

The colors stained and tarnished

Our morale crushed by heavy blows

We still have our beaten armor

And with it, weapons sharp

We can battle by strength and mind

Though what we lack is heart

We are without a sovereign true

Without a mentor to guide the path

We must choose all on our own

How to miss mistake’s quick lash

Camelot has fallen

Mordred is at the gate

The table is now splintered

And our lives left up to fate.

Running in place

catnapIt feels as if sleep is a luxury, one I decadently wallow in when I can get it. However, too often it is beyond my reach. There is always something else that needs to be done so sleep gets pushed to the back burner. Thanks to my wonderful, loving mother, I was able to sleep hours and hours yesterday. She stayed over an extra day to take care of the kids so I could sleep.

It is morning now and that means lunches to pack, kids to wake, and cats to feed. Once the kids are at school, I have a porch to paint and a garden to plant. There is laundry to do, there is always laundry to do, and kids to pick up from school.

Then there will be homework to help with and dinner to start. Life never stops and rarely slows down. If I am not kept busy at home there is always work waiting at my night job. And lets not forget writing. That gets squeezed in too, usually in the mornings over a cup of coffee or tea.

Writing is the thing I want to do. The rest all has to be done. It is a hard juggling act.

When snoopyI get time to write I need to take greater advantage of that time and make the most of it. With my recent book of short stories available for sale and a new short story in the final editing, I feel like I am making progress on this crazy dream. I just need to get a few more of those works in progress into the completed file.

Thursday Is Not Monday, but here is a post

whats-your-storyIt is currently 6 a.m. on a November Thursday morning. I missed Monday’s post again. It is getting more and more difficult to post on my work week.

I may have to go down to two posts a month rather than one every week. That is something I will have to consider later. Right now it is November so that means it is Nation Novel Writing Month.

Truthfully, I did not plan on participating this year. I have so much going on I did not intend to add one more thing. That was before vampire slaying hobos happened though. (Long story.)

So now a friend of mine and I are writing novels about the same characters hoping that by the end of the month, between the two of us, we will have an actual readable book or at least a few short stories. We only have working titles right now but look for our finished project sometime in January.

Right now I have some writing to get done. Since both kids are home sick I need to get to it while they are still asleep. Have a great day everybody and happy writing!

Monday Calls

So I missed a post last Monday. I did notice, after the fact. My work week always has me losing track of days. I think that is why they put the date on the phones at work and hang calenders all over the place.

I have lost count of how many times I have glanced at the phone display and realized that either I have time traveled or it wasn’t the day I thought it was. The calenders are there for a second reference.  Once we realize the date we have to check to make sure which day of the week it is. I have gone from phone to calender, then turned to my co-worker to announce “It’s Tuesday!”  on multiple occasions.

Sometimes this is met with a “Well, yeah.” And sometimes it is met with a “It is?!”

But today, today I am not at work. (At least not the money paying one.) Today is most definitely Monday. I didn’t even have to check the phone or calender. I could hear Monday in the chirp of the alarm clock and the desire to stay huddled in my blankets.

Monday was in the way my kids trudged to the bathroom and ate breakfast with half opened eyes. Monday was the fog hanging thick in the air as if the world itself wasn’t ready to be awake. Monday was evident in the slow drivers and the coffee commercials on the radio. (Coffee commercials are always on the radio but today they all sounded so much more appealing.)

Monday is in the phone call I just received from my son while writing this post. He forgot his glasses and I need to bring them to him, so this post will have to be cut short. Monday Calls.

Scrambled eggs for brains

I missed posting on Monday. I noticed yesterday. My brain has been so scrambled lately that a plate of cheese eggs looks more put together. The reasons are the same as always. Work, kids, and writing.

My son’s birthday is Saturday. He is turning double digits. I remembered on Wednesday to order his cake. Usually that is the first thing I take care of. I could make the thing myself but while edible, it wouldn’t look as cool. Also I tend to freak out at the last minute for things involving a crowd of people. It is better to let professionals bake the cake.

I did manage to buy a present and invite people. The wonders of social media and online shopping made that easier, considering most stores are closing around the time I am heading to work and many of them have yet to open by the time I get out. I haven’t wrapped his present yet, but I did get one. (I tried to bribe my daughter into wrapping it for me but she declined.)

I have no idea who will actually show up for his party. I know his aunt is going to try and that his dad, step-mom, and baby sister will be there. My brother and sister-in-law are on vacation, so they will not be attending. I am hoping my friend Lacey will show up with her kids if they aren’t too busy.

Lacey has been my best friend since middle school. We talk to each other off an on through out the year. Sometimes it can be as little as once a year, but we always pick up right wherever we left off. Neither of us are surprised whenever the other shows up.

After not seeing a person for a few years and then you both go to the exact same place at the exact same time for vacation…well that kind of puts an end to the feeling of surprise at seeing one another in random places. (It wasn’t even a well known spot. I hadn’t even planned to go until someone gave me free tickets, and then there we were, her kids lined up next to mine watching animal handlers feed dead chicken to alligators.)

Anyway, I will try to get a proper post out this Monday. Sorry for the miss.