Back to School and Bad Days

road-sign-940644_1280I’ve had a couple of unpleasant days in a row.  An inability to sleep at night has caused me to oversleep the past couple of days. Which means I have woken up late and the dog didn’t get to go out to do her business on time. So I have quite literally woken up to shit for two days.

As you can imagine cleaning up such a mess isn’t something I want to do before coffee. However, it is necessary. It isn’t the dog’s fault.

I am not sure if it is this unpleasant chore that sets my mood for the day or the lack of Exhaustedproper sleep but I have definitely been a grouch. Fighting the crowds to get the kids ready for school hasn’t helped. My youngest is in middle school and on the autism spectrum. He is high functioning so when he is having a good day you can hardly tell. But he is always very particular about things

For example, he will only wear khakis and shirts with Sonic the Hedgehog on them to school. It is his self-imposed uniform. Finding Sonic the Hedgehog shirts, until recently, has been an issue all on its own. Finding them in his size is an even greater challenge. Fortunately, he has a grandmother on his dad’s side with an embroidery machine.

doomSchool starts tomorrow. I am as prepared as I can be. I will be up by five in the morning because I know that if I want him to school on time that is when I must begin the day. I had nightmares all last night about being late and losing things.

Today I am trying to relax. There is a Native American thing going on at a local park that I want to go to but I am honestly peopled out. I also don’t have money to spare. School supplies and fees took more than I was expecting and I have to come up with a new way to juggle bills.

Right now I am watching a documentary series called Underworld At War. It is all about crime in Britain during World War II. The second episode was an account of Neville Heath; a conman and killer. It also covered the thoughts and challenges facing a school girl named Daphne, who fought to get an education during the turbulent times and realize her dream of becoming a teacher.

The now-retired Headmistress read excerpts from the diary she

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kept during 1940. She spoke of doing homework during air raids and by oil lamp. She mentioned the time a bomb went off just as her father opened a door and how the blast blew him back onto the stove.

It made me think about how valuable that once school girl’s diary is to history and how it now gives us a more complete picture of the era. Of course, that wasn’t why she kept her journal. She just used it to record her thoughts. She probably never intended to share those thoughts with anyone else.

Today we write blogs and share them with the world. We keep online journals that are accessible to people in countries we will probably never see. It is an immediate transfer of information on daily life.

My ramblings of a couple of bad days don’t hold a candle to watching your father get blown back by an enemy’s explosive device. The information I am sharing isn’t all that useful from my current standpoint. I share it anyway because it allows me to get thoughts and worries out of my own head. I doubt they will even be of any use to future generations, but it does make you pause to think. Daphne didn’t expect her words to hold much value either.

o'connor

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Hiding In My Hermit Cave

introvert-pic-goldfishThere are days were I can handle people and days when I can’t.  Today is not one of the can days. When I say people, I don’t mean stupid people or mean people, I just mean people who are not very close friends or family. (Though there are days that I can’t handle anyone at all.)   I am an introvert, (surprise,surprise, a lot of writers are) but I am kind of in that border line area where sometimes I can almost seem like an extrovert.  I can talk to groups of strangers and enjoy myself at large gatherings….sometimes.

Then there are days like today where I was done in by talking to a cashier at the grocery store (I was only in there for about 5 minutes total) and the guy behind the counter at the post office.  (I was mailing couple of letters to my friend who teaches in Japan.)

Leaving the post office I felt sick to my stomach and shaky.  I’m not ill or coming down 600px-kitten-covering-eyes-with-pawswith anything.  It’s just one of those days where talking to strangers makes me want to curl up in a ball and makes my head ache.

What makes it even worse is on days like this I have trouble talking too.  I can force myself to speak but what comes out usually leaves the person on the receiving end needing more information.  Like at the post office.  Instead of saying  “I would like to mail these letters to Japan please.”  What came out is “I need to send these to Japan but I’ve never mailed anything over seas before.”    Both too much and not enough info.  The guy at the counter took it in stride and was nice and everything but I know my face was blending in with my red scarf.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough and he had to call me back for my receipt which only made me feel worse.FAIL-CAT