I awoke early this morning before the sun. I had to claw my way out of nightmares and managed to escape ten minutes before my alarm would have gone off. In dreams ten minutes can be an eternity.
I stumbled to the shower to wash away lingering unease and then made for the kitchen and a hot cuppa. Finally awake-ish, I turned on the local weather to find out what season it was going to be today. (A legitimate question. Last week I couldn’t tell the falling tree blossoms from the falling snow.) Turns out today it is going to be Summer. The temp is supposed to be in the upper 70’s.
I laid clothes out for the kids, packed lunches, then went to awaken my sleeping angels. (They don’t always remain angels after I wake them up.) We had cinnamon toast for breakfast. While they ate I took the trash down to the curb then promptly had an asthma attack once I was back inside. This caused a major problem.
I had my fast acting inhaler but if I used it I knew an anxiety attack would follow closely after. The inhaler increases a persons heart rate even as it allows them to breath. I had already had caffeine and lets not forget the nightmares that disturbed my slumber.
Nightmares + Caffeine = Awake and functional
Morning + Caffeine = Awake and functional
Caffeine + Asthma inhaler = anxiety
Nightmares + Caffeine + Asthma inhaler = major anxiety freak out
And because I apparently like to cause myself unnecessary stress:
Nightmares + Caffeine + Asthma inhaler + Grocery Store after taking kids to school = Ohmygodjustbreathejustbreatheyou’realmosthome.
I am better now. I am also exhausted. I had big plans for getting stuff accomplished today. I am not sure how much of that is going to happen now. I did manage to work off my anxiety by washing a load of clothes, a sink full of dishes, and cleaning out the litter box, so that’s something.
Now I am just going to make myself a nice decaffeinated cup of tea and read a book for a bit. Maybe later I will feel up to taking the computer onto the front porch to enjoy the sun and work on my book.
Today is Monday. This may not come as a surprise to most of you, but to me it was a recent realization. Recent as in about thirty minutes ago. I mean I should have known it was Monday. The kids went to school and everything, but I worked last night and sometimes I loose track of the days.
It also didn’t help that I slept hard today. It was very difficult waking up. I had to swim my way back to waking world from dreams of being kidnapped by parachuting special forces guys, and being spirited onto a plane to be interrogated by the NSA about some pink goop in mason jar lid, that dissolved the lid. Then, like the man behind the curtain, the current Speaker of The House showed up to further interrogate me and find out if they wanted to toss me into a secure jail cell or use my great scientific knowledge. (I’m not sure where they were expecting this great scientific knowledge to come from. Also the Speaker of the house was wear face power and lip gloss.)
I want to say it was a nightmare because it was creepy, but I guess it was just really weird. So anyway here are my excuses for not doing a decent post. I forgot it was Monday, I was tired, and now my head feels like an over ripe melon.
I just woke up a little bit ago. It’s a work night so I had to sleep away the daylight hours. Unfortunately, it was not restful sleep. I had nightmares (daymares?) and weird dreams all day. I would wake up from one and fall immediately back into another.
I dreamed of ghost werewolves and motorcycles, of being abandoned and having to walk home, and of giant hedgehogs. I also had a dream that I wrote a blog post. It was so real that I was really confused when I turned on my computer and couldn’t find it.
I have been sick lately. Just allergies that have tried to morph into something more, but enough to make me feel like crap. It has been an exhausting work week. I fall into bed as soon as I get home, so I haven’t had much time to write this past week. Hopefully next week will be better.
My sleep was filled with dreams last night. I cannot recall them but I have brief snatches, like catching a flash of color out of the corner of your eye. I was awakened by clawing and meowing at my bedroom door at five a.m. because my furry mistress and master decided it was breakfast time.
I am still not quite awake and I would love to lay down and cuddle with my pillow again but I know if I go back to sleep I will be haunted by nightmares. I’m tired but I am in a semi foul mood and that is not a good combination.
My stomach is tied in knots, probably because I didn’t wake up on my own, but I feel apprehensive as well. It’s like I am waiting for something unpleasant to happen. I will probably feel better after a warm shower and a cup of tea…and with the sun actually up.
I can sit on the porch and watch the sun rise this morning with a nice cup of chai, that should raise my spirits. Still, it is good to record my current unease for two reasons.
One: It makes me feel better.
Two: It might come in handy someday with a story.
So if I finally get something written, polished, and ready for audience consumption enough to put it up on Amazon; and someone who reads this blog also reads that work and finds a scene were a character is awoken by cats and left with a sense of unease….you know where it came from.