New Years Eve

new-year-3727341_1920It is a couple hours from the old year dying and the new one born. Already the sound of fireworks echo through my neighborhood but my house is quiet. My son, who has ASD, is currently building some sort of game on his computer with his headphones on. Fortunately, this muffles the fireworks and they aren’t as bad as they are on Independence Day.

My youngest child is building games, my eldest is off visited their significate other in another state, and I am writing. My family is content. What better wish for the coming year than we all experience more quiet content moments like this? I may not be celebrating the coming year attending a big party or drinking the night away but those types of things don’t really suit me anyway.

Today at work someone asked me if I planned on going out tonight. I laughed when I said no. They wanted to know why and my immediate answer was “I don’t like people.” The expression I received told me I had been a bit too blunt and honest so I joked around a bit to smooth things over. It is more accurate to say I don’t like being closed in by large groups of strangers. Sure, I have friends or extended family I could be spending time with now; but after 9 hours of talking to strangers and coworkers then another hour fighting the crowds at the grocery store, I have reached my socializing limit even for New Year’s Eve,

It is important to enjoy life. There are times that call for big celebrations or parties. New Year’s Eve can be one of those moments. Yet the quiet moments are important too. Balance is good in all things. If you press too hard one way or the other you can upset the whole metaphorical cart.

So from me in my lovely quiet space to you reading this, no matter where you are, I hope pf-3827440_1920this New Year brings you many moments to enjoy both big and small, quiet and loud. May it be a good year for us all.

 

 

Auld Lang Syne

By Robert Burns

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne*?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup!
and surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin’ auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
and gie’s a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak’ a right gude-willie waught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS
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Retrospect and Resolutions

523898_427143540690691_680257817_nIt’s that time again when we look back at the year past and ahead to the year approaching. This year has been rough. Honestly, the past two years haven’t been easy at all. However, there have been some bright spots that kept me going. I really don’t want to spend too much time looking back. 2018 is almost finished and for good or bad I am done.

(I am writing this to Just Take My Heart by Mr. Big. I blame my friend Hillary. She shared a video and now I am listening to a playlist. It seems fitting though. Shine, also by Mr. Big, was the ending theme for the anime Hellsing just fyi. What? You guys know by now I am a geek.)

I  also don’t really make resolutions for New Years. I would like to focus more on my writing and get my finances better balanced but those are ongoing goals. I think I am optimistically working toward those things. Speaking of writing, I have stuff to work on. I am thinking about putting out a collection of short stories. I have quite a few just lounging in limbo with no one but me to enjoy them. We will see how it goes. *shrug* More on that in 2019. 😉dream time

A word on Resolutions

We are still wiggling around in the New Year trying to get used to the fit of 2015. Just a month ago where were wearing 2014 like a pair of old shoes that some were ready to toss in the trash and others wanted to hang on to. Is it going to be a good year or a bad one? Maybe in between?

It is the great unknown that stretches before us. To put structure and order to this scary bit of new time many make resolutions. I will lose weight, I will write that book, I will stress less… the hopes and plans for the coming days stretch on and on.

That is not to say having a resolution is a bad thing. It is always good to have a plan. But a plan with no planning is just a wish. There is a difference between I will and I wish.  Now is the time to take steps to make sure those resolutions happen, rather than just kind of hope things will come to pass.

Make sure you have asked yourself how you plan to accomplish your resolution and not just what you wish to do.

A New Year Confession

confessionalI have a confession to make.  I didn’t write very much in December.  In fact, I had a great internal battle about whether I should give it up entirely.

Anyone who is a writer knows, you can’t just stop writing.  It is something that comes out if you want it to or not. (And more likely when plathyou don’t want it to, rather than when you do.)   I pondered for a while but I didn’t talk about it.  First, I was afraid my friend would think that I was looking for sympathy or pats on the head.  Second, I was afraid my friends might deliver swift hard smacks to the back of my head.  (Or even scarier, what if they agreed that I should give up my silly writing dreams?)

Eventually, the simple fact that I was afraid I would be told to give it up, finally sifted through my self doubt to make me realize I didn’t want to.  Because if I did, wouldn’t I be feeling relief rather than dread?

anime_dragon_1024x768-634320I am still wrestling with that dragon of self doubt. It keeps asking me questions that I don’t have the answers to.  Am I good enough? Does anyone want to even read what I write?  Why would someone chose one of my stories over all the many others out there?  What if I finally get my stuff where people can see it and they scoff and toss it aside before giving it a chance; because I over looked something simple, like a spelling or grammar error?   (That last one really scares me. I have friends that do that so I know it isn’t just paranoia.)

Writing is a very solitary thing.  You spend a lot of time in your own head.  This means you face the good and bad about yourself all the time.  You struggle with it.  When you can, you pen it down on a page. (Pun intended.)

I am not writing this to seek sympathy.  I am writing to…well, write it out.  Things look o'connormuch clearer on a page than they do all jumbled up in your head.  I am not giving up even though I still feel a bit downhearted at the moment.  I am told that many writers go through the “Am I good enough?” struggle.  Big names with many book contracts under their belts still doubt themselves sometimes.  It’s a hazard of the occupation.

The important thing, the thing I have to remind myself, is to just keep putting one word in front of another.  If I can do that then I’m bound to get somewhere eventually.dream time