Worries By Moonlight

moonlightIt is roughly 4:30 in the morning where I am right now. I have an alarm set to wake me up at 8:15. No, I am not sleep typing and I didn’t write this in advance and set it to post at dark thirty.

I am awake even though I don’t want to be. I imagine I will want to be awake even less around 8:15. I took a sleep aid, a warm shower, and read The Hobbit to my son for two hours. He fell asleep but I didn’t. I can seem to turn my brain off.

barrel-373040_1280I close my eyes and imagine barrels, heavy laden with dwarves, bobbing down a cold river and then my brain shifts to all the things I need to do before 2 PM and the imagination bubble pops. Out of desperation I am now trying cold cereal.

I agreed to go watch the new Jurassic Park movie after 2:00, so everything that I can accomplish needs to be done before then. I can’t put anything off because my son has plans on Tuesday and I go back to work Wednesday.  I can’t even say my to do list contains a lot of writing. It is more like doctor’s appointments and phone calls.

I really need to get this home schooling thing sorted before I have to go back to work. I need to return to the doctor for a follow up on some blood work.(I was supposed to last Wednesday but skipped out because I was exhausted.) I have to set up an appointment for my son. (I’ve forgotten that one for three weeks in a row.) And my daughter needs to get a shot before they will let her back to school this fall.

Really the home schooling is the one I am stressing out over the most. With doctor’s and things I kind of know what to expect. Home school is an unknown variable for me. I don’t have enough information to begin making a plan.

I even gave the poor dog a bath at 1 AM, thinking that maybe if I got at least one thing off my list I would sleep better. The dog was confused but didn’t fight me. He seems to be sleeping well too.

This sleeplessness has been a running theme for me lately. I am tired but I can’t sleep. My brain just won’t go into standby mode. However, my bowl is now empty and the house is two degrees cooler because I fiddled with the thermostat. I guess I will go give it another shot. Maybe writing down my worries has helped.

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Allergies and Moonlight

I woke up before dawn this morning, made myself a cup of green tea, and sat on the porch steps.  I would like to say it was to enjoy the quiet peace before dawn awakens the world. That I took deep breaths of the pre-morning air and was inspired by all the possibilities that would be revealed by the coming sun.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.  Did I enjoy gazing at the mostly round moon floating in the slowly lightening sky?  Oh yes.  Did I scribble down some notes on how the clouds looked as they tried to mask the moonlight?  You betcha.  However, that was not the reason I got up so early.

I have allergies. I don’t know what is blooming or why it hates me but something out there is really kicking me in the sinuses.  My head weighs three times it’s normal amount, my eyes are itchy, my nose is runny…you get the idea.  I have taken antihistamines but I am still miserable.  Thinking takes too much effort.

I want to write.  I want to take my notes from this morning and turn them into an opening for a new story.  But my brain coughs a congested laugh at me every time I try, then rolls over and goes back to sleep.  *frustrated sigh*