Late Night

Weep not for me and my lost sleep

Pity not my missed nightly dreams

For I have been traveling the word roads

I slipped between sentence spaces to journey

I danced among worlds hidden in print

I’ve drunk the tears of dragons and feasted on fears

Now I return to this world sated

I may yawn till my jaw cracks and my eyes may blur

But every traveler pays a cost to take a worthwhile journey

And I have willingly given away sleep and what nightly dreams may have come to mine.

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Worries By Moonlight

moonlightIt is roughly 4:30 in the morning where I am right now. I have an alarm set to wake me up at 8:15. No, I am not sleep typing and I didn’t write this in advance and set it to post at dark thirty.

I am awake even though I don’t want to be. I imagine I will want to be awake even less around 8:15. I took a sleep aid, a warm shower, and read The Hobbit to my son for two hours. He fell asleep but I didn’t. I can seem to turn my brain off.

barrel-373040_1280I close my eyes and imagine barrels, heavy laden with dwarves, bobbing down a cold river and then my brain shifts to all the things I need to do before 2 PM and the imagination bubble pops. Out of desperation I am now trying cold cereal.

I agreed to go watch the new Jurassic Park movie after 2:00, so everything that I can accomplish needs to be done before then. I can’t put anything off because my son has plans on Tuesday and I go back to work Wednesday.  I can’t even say my to do list contains a lot of writing. It is more like doctor’s appointments and phone calls.

I really need to get this home schooling thing sorted before I have to go back to work. I need to return to the doctor for a follow up on some blood work.(I was supposed to last Wednesday but skipped out because I was exhausted.) I have to set up an appointment for my son. (I’ve forgotten that one for three weeks in a row.) And my daughter needs to get a shot before they will let her back to school this fall.

Really the home schooling is the one I am stressing out over the most. With doctor’s and things I kind of know what to expect. Home school is an unknown variable for me. I don’t have enough information to begin making a plan.

I even gave the poor dog a bath at 1 AM, thinking that maybe if I got at least one thing off my list I would sleep better. The dog was confused but didn’t fight me. He seems to be sleeping well too.

This sleeplessness has been a running theme for me lately. I am tired but I can’t sleep. My brain just won’t go into standby mode. However, my bowl is now empty and the house is two degrees cooler because I fiddled with the thermostat. I guess I will go give it another shot. Maybe writing down my worries has helped.

The last day of 2014 and the first breath of a New Year.

I didn’t sleep the last twenty four hours of 2014. I did work half of it though. I also wrote one new short story and plotted another. All considered, it wasn’t really a bad way to spend the last day of the year.  My kids came home from their dad’s house and we sat on the couch together this afternoon watching Myth Busters.  At 15 minutes until midnight we changed the channel so we could watch the ball drop in Time’s Square and witness the birth of 2015.

Now we are taking our first steps into the New Year. Well, not physical steps. The kids and I are chowing down on pizza and watching cartoons. I guess that is not the healthiest start but we are all together. I hope being close with my kids and sharing moments is something that continues throughout the year.

I can’t predict how this year will go but I do hope to spend my time more wisely. I hope to not be as wasteful with my minutes and hours. I hope to laugh and share joys. I hope tears are short lived unless they are from happiness.

*Raises Glass*

Here is to a brand New Year, may we reach worthy goals and share our happiness so that it is multiplied among those we hold dear.

happy new year

Flat brain day

My brain feels flat today. Like popped balloon pancake flat. I have quiet a few things I need to get done but I really don’t want to do anything.

I could have another cup of coffee or force myself to work but I that is what I always do. It is a windy day outside with clouds racing across the sky. My daughter didn’t go to school today because neither her nor I slept well last night.

(Yes I am a horrible parent. I let my kid stay home because she was tired. I did send the other kid to school though. I don’t know if that makes things better or not.)

I think what I will do is go take a nap. Just a short one. Then I will take a walk with my daughter, sit on the porch with a cup of tea, and then I will get busy on all of the things I need to accomplish.

The plan is to gently re-inflate my brain rather than forcing the flat tire to keep rolling.

Rainy Work Night

I was sitting on the couch a little while ago with a cat in my lap, another cat on the arm of the couch, and a hot cup of coffee in my hand. Thunder boomed outside and rain pounded down on my tin roof. Content and peaceful I didn’t want to move but I had to get up and get ready for work.

I am ready to head out the door now. The rain is pounding down but now it doesn’t seem as pleasing as it was before. Now the echo of thunder is more ominous. I hate driving in the rain. Driving in the dark and in the rain is even worse.

Once I do get to work there will still be the sound of rain on a tin roof. I have to spend the night upstairs sorting overstock, so that roof will be right over my head. Somehow I don’t think the sound of rain on the roof at work will bring the same feelings as rain on the roof of my home.

Hello Monday my old friend

I haven’t slept. I spent the night chain watching Harry Potter movies with my 12yr old daughter. It is her first time watching them and mine too in some cases.  I read all of the books as they came out, (I worked in a bookstore at the time and it was very hard not to.) but I never got around to watching all of the movies.

My mom loved both the books and the movies and has all of both versions. We borrowed the movies from her and my kiddo is now expressing interest in the books as well.  We still have the last two movies to go, so we will see if she changes her mind.

Regardless, I will probably pick the first book in the Harry Potter series as our “chapter a night” bed time read after we finish the book we are on.  Both of my kids read well above their grade levels but there is just something about snuggling up together and sharing a book. I don’t have to read to them but I sure do enjoy it.

Balloons, Panels, and Books

panel2My Saturday at LibertyCon is winding down I can’t help but be satisfied. I got the chance to meet and talk to some talented writers, I bought a ton of books, and got a few new short story ideas sketched out.  Most recently I went to the book release party for Deadly Curiosities by Gail Z. Martin.

Truthfully, I had not heard of Gail Z. Martin before this convention.  I am incredibly glad I’ve been introduced to her now and I very much look forward to reading her new book.  It sounds like it is really going to be a good one. (It’s urban fantasy just in case anyone was wondering.)  She has some short stories in the same setting. (And quite a few other books as well.)

I got some good tips on writing from Louise Herring-Jones and Gail.  There were suggestions that I reverse plot my space opera and maybe take a look at my point of view. I think that maybe just what I need in order to straighten out some of the problems.

Earlier today I went to some great panels and listened to Scott W. Baker, Timothy Zahn, panelLouise Herring-Jones, Gail Z. Martin, Dan Hoyt, Travis Taylor, John Ringo, and many others. I have books signed by Sarah A. Hoyt, Jason Cordova, Eric S. Brown, and D.B. Jackson.

This has been a great convention and just what I needed. It has been a learning experience, a mini vacation, and a sort of family reunion all rolled into one.  Or rather, a Friendly reunion.  I’ve seen friends I usually only see once a year like Ray, Stephanie Osborn, Dan and Lindsey Hollifield, and Scott W. Baker.

doc osbornDaryl “Doc” Osborn also made me a “subtle” balloon hat when we watched his Balloons of Doom act.  Bright orange, red, pink and yellow; it is almost as tall as I am with a red heart perched at the top. I had to bend it over to enter and exit buildings and the elevator had me worried.  He also turned one of the hotel golf carts into a bat mobile using balloons.

LibertyCon 27 has been awesome but now it is after midnight and I need to sleep. Good night.