Lack of sleep and Eternal Rest

Today has been a long day. This morning I went to the viewing of a dear mentor and friend. She passed away on Wednesday and I don’t think I have slept well since. I don’t really understand why I have been having trouble sleeping. I haven’t been racked with grief or guilt or anything. I just haven’t been able to turn my brain off. I’ve been having some trouble keeping up with school too. I am just so tired.

I have been thinking a lot about my friend these past few days. She was my teacher, then my friend. I learned so much; more than I realized. I have been reminiscing and sharing antidotes to other friends and family ever since I learn of her death. Some of them made me laugh others made me cry harder because such a wonderful person was no longer on this Earth.

I didn’t stay long at the viewing and I didn’t attend the funeral afterwards, even though we drove over an hour to do just that. They buried her in her uniform from her time as a volunteer and I can’t imagine anything more perfect. After I paid my respects to her family and saw her laying there I suddenly just wanted to go. I felt sad but at peace.

The funeral home was a crowded place too. She had touched a lot of lives and was a personality not soon forgotten. I felt like getting out of the way so others could have their turn to say goodbye.

Now I have to encourage my tired to brain to concentrate long enough to write a paper for one of my classes and then I can try to go to bed. Right now I feel like I could sleep for days. I hope my brain doesn’t decided to go into over drive again after I lay down.

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Motivation

After nanowrimo I am a little burned out with writing.  That doesn’t mean I am going to catbooksstop, but it is a good excuse to kick back with a stack of books…which I just so happen to have.

I know myself well enough to know that I am a major procrastinator.   As a result, I write like mad under the pressure of a quickly approaching deadline.
tornado However, sometimes I need a little bit more motivation.  This November I needed a lot of motivation because life didn’t even give me a chance to procrastinate.  I was tossed around in a tornado of stress and grief which left little energy for writing my nano novel.

I managed to pull it off, but only because I had been smart enough at the very beginning of the month to buy two new books by two of my favorite authors.  I then gave those books to my sister and told her I was not allowed to have them back until I had my word count caught up.
She took the books home with her and guaranteed that I would never see the books again Nick_Fury_Avengersif I didn’t manage my word count.  It was sort of a hostage situation. (It would have been easier to get them back from Nick Fury than Sarah. Trust me.  Fury at least lacks depth perception.)

129161051317775306I had paid full price at the local book store for those two shiny brand new books.  I hadn’t even read the first page on either one.  It was awful to think that I might never get to read them.  So I got caught up.  It took until November 30th, but I did it.

Sometimes you have to give yourself that extra little bit of motivation.  It can be a reward or a threat.  It can be both.  Whatever works to keep the words coming.

Gaiman-motivational-poster-sm