A Run of Bad Luck and a New Book

A couple of weeks ago I expressed the wish that the universe not take my post as a challenge. It did. The past week has been rough. My son was down with a stomach virus all week, he gave it to me, and my car died. We both are feeling better but I am still without transportation.

My brother has tried to fix something for me to drive just to get back and forth to work and school, but so far we haven’t had any luck. My mom is spending the night so I can use her car to take Toby to school and then she will drop me off at work later. Thank God for family.

I did manage to get a short book finished in time for Halloween. I’ve been working on it for a few months. If anyone is interested it is available on Amazon.

Historic Horrors:: True Tales Of Real Monsters by [Miller, Tammi A.]



Life got busy

I missed my post on Monday. Life has been happening at high speeds around here lately. Not only was it a work week, but I am still homeschooling my youngest, and my ex-husband has decided he is moving to another state in a week or so.

Basically I had my hands full being mom, teacher, employee, and writer. The blog post was one of the things that ended up falling by the wayside. I submitted a story and two poems to various places this week too.

Saturday my neighbor is planning on having a yard sale and I agree to have one too, because more stuff hopefully will draw more people. Or if you look at it from my perspective, grocery money is a good thing. (Not that we are going hungry or anything but variety is a scarce thing in our meals right now.)

Sunday there is going to be a total lunar eclipse. I am planning on dragging the kids outside to watch, preferably through the lens of a telescope, but with the naked eye works too. So if you see a bunch of people standing out in their yards on Sunday night around 9 or 10 pm, the eclipse is probably why they are staring into the night. Also, the moon will be at its yearly closest point to the Earth; so that means it will be 13% bigger.

Splintered Thoughts

There are days when I wake up refreshed and sit down at the computer with a smile on my face. Then there are days where I wake up from dreams of being ridiculed for daring to call myself an author. Days where the cat has knocked my glasses off of the night stand and I have an unexplained splinter in my palm. Days where I trudge out of my room on sore feet and step in cat vomit.

Hello Monday. Where is my coffee?

The sun hasn’t been awake long. It is just now kicking off the last of its night blanket. I feel like I have a long list of important things that has to be done today but right now I can’t name a one. I know it is trash day. I will have to roll the cans out to the curb. I haven’t let the dog out yet…I guess the rest will come after I’ve had coffee. Or after the kids wake up.

That is the thing with kids. You can have a whole plan free day and then your kid gets sick or wants to go to a friends house, or needs something and then suddenly the whole day is full.

I also had a post planned for today. It was something informative about writing. I didn’t write it down as I plotted it though, so now it is gone. Replaced with: “How did I get a splinter in my hand? Was it there yesterday and I didn’t notice? Or did I somehow manage to acquire it while I slept? How?”

Questions like that aren’t of interest to anyone else but I know it is going to bug me for the rest of the day.

Sharing Burdens

I feel like I am hanging on to the end of a frayed rope and my palms are sweaty. If I think too much I will have a major anxiety attack and end up back in bed, under the blankets, and trying not to hyperventilate. I’ve got troubles. Doesn’t everyone?

I know that the things going on right now that are stressing me out will pass. And once time moves me past this trial it won’t seem as insurmountable as it does now. Sometimes living with anxiety depression makes you feel like even small tasks are the equivalent to Frodo taking the one ring to Mount Doom.

Today I am facing a second trip to the doctor for my sick son. I also have a million tiny errands that need to be done. I need to make some phone calls, buy cat food, acquire doctors notes, and manage to pick my daughter up from school.

Monday I have a meeting at my son’s school because he has been absent a lot this year. He has inherited my anxiety demon. It, combined with a few other stressors, has made this school year hell. There have been times I have had to drag him begging to the car and you don’t want to know how many times he has thrown up on himself because of stress.

This meeting has me all tied in knots. I am trying to prepare for it. I don’t like confrontation to begin with and now I have to stand up and plead my son’s case or leave with a fine. Ironically, the day after he brought home the note for the meeting, he woke up with a 103.3 degree fever. I took him to the doctor yesterday and they said it is the flu. Again. (He has already the flu once this school year, before Christmas.) They want to see him again today. He will be out all week.

I did have plans to attend a Cherry Blossom Festive this weekend. That has been scrapped in favor of playing Nurse Mom and fretting over the future. I know worrying over the out come of the meeting will not change anything, but that doesn’t stop my brain from going: What if… and then chasing the thoughts around and around like a dog going after his own tail.

I find  that writing things out does help. That is one of the reasons I am writing this. I don’t have to share these words on line but I probably will anyway.  Because, I know I am not the only anxiety depressive out there. Sometimes reading about other people’s struggles makes your own seem smaller. Sometimes it makes you feel less alone.

If one person reads these words an thinks “Oh, I do that” or “Yeah, feeling overwhelmed sucks,” then these words will have meant something more than just me calming myself down. They will have reached out into the world and connected me with another person, and that is a precious, wonderful thing. It means I am not alone either.

Blue Towels and Bad Luck

Last week wasn’t exactly the most fortuitous.  The kids got sick, I had to pick my stranded brother up from work, my washing machine died, the laundry room shelf collapsed, I got sick and missed three days of work, and then my mom caught the same virus.   All in all an eventful week. Just not the good kind of eventful.

I did get to read a lot and I got another washing machine so it’s not all bad.  Most of my white towels are also now a lovely shade of periwinkle blue.  When the washer went down it took two loads of laundry with it.  The wet jeans ended up mixed up in a basket with the towels and ended up sitting there all night.   After a trip to the laundry mat the next day (my mom made it for me since I couldn’t leave the bed or my trash can) the jeans were clean, dry, and blue and so were the towels.

I would be more upset if everything were pink.  Blue however just happens to be my favorite color and the dye job was very even.

Technical Difficulties

The normal Monday post on this site has been delayed due to technical difficulties.

Translation: Frickin’ Malware has taken over my computer.

Our highly knowledgeable team of computer savvy professionals is looking into the issue.

Translation:  I don’t know what the heck I am doing but I keep running virus scans and deleting anything suspicious.  The next step is to take the computer to my more technological intelligent ex-husband and let him have a look.

The scheduled post will be available at a later date.

Translation: I will have my typical Monday post up as soon as I can open a tab and not be assaulted by pop up ads or by having the page automatically redirected elsewhere.

Thank you for your time and patience.  Please check back for updates.

Translation:  Thank you for your time and patience.  The post will be up eventually…cross your fingers, say a prayer, or do a good luck dance and maybe it will be posted sooner rather than later.




Phone, School, and Pocket Watch

weekSo if anyone has been paying attention, I didn’t really post on Monday. I did post a couple of links but that is supposed to be Wednesday’s shtick.   Surprise! This is going to be backwards week! 😀

Honestly, I was dead tired on Monday and any post I would have tried to make probably would not have been coherent.   I am exhausted right now too, but I know I don’t have to go to work tonight so that makes a difference.

These last two weeks have been more than hectic.  I mean worse than Gozilla meets Tokyo 1994 - God_020hectic.

I have two kids and school started last week.  The day before (1st day eve) I had to go to a parent/teacher meet and greet for my daughter.  On the way there I slammed my phone into the car door and destroyed it. (No. Not on purpose.)

mary-poppins-bagI don’t often carry a purse because I feel inclined to fill it with things.  I seem to think that any bag you carry around should be like the carpet bag from Mary Poppins, even if it is only the size of a small paper back.  On parent/teacher night I was trying to fake being  a responsible adult.  So that meant a little more than my usual jeans and witty t-shirts.  Which meant no pockets, so I had to carry a purse, that ended up getting caught between me and the car door and my phone was in the outside pocket.

It was dead. It was no more. The screen was cracked and black.  It would still ring and broken phonebeep whenever I received a text but I couldn’t answer or see anything.  It took me from then until Monday to get a new one.  I don’t own a home phone so I was unable to contact anyone (except by computer) for almost and entire week.

SchoolHouseThe 2nd day of school, (Day 1 went well except for the kids waking up a 4:15a.m. for some gawd forsaken reason…) they called to tell me my daughter was sick and needed to be picked up, except I didn’t get the message because my phone was broken.  Fortunately, they also called my mom when they received no response from me.

On the 3rd day I gave up on the idea of sleep to take my daughter to Mooch-in-the-Morningthe doctor.  She was running a fever and had a sore throat.  They ran tests, said that she probably just had a virus, and sent us home with the promise that they would call me when the results came in…except my phone was broken.

I did not realize how much of my every day life was so dependent on that small rectangular electronic device.  I couldn’t call and talk to anyone.  I couldn’t text.  Even if I did have a house phone, I wouldn’t have been able to call more that the four people whose number’s I have memorized.  For days my hand twitched as I started to reach into my pocket to check pocket watchthe time or my email.  I bought a pocket watch to at least keep track of the time and the email piled up and waited for me to get off work.  (Wrist watches don’t last long around me.)

But you know what?  The world didn’t end.  Sure it was inconvenient, but that was all. It also reminded of how important it is to have a back up of information. I am going to write down phone numbers and addresses from now on so that I will have a hard copy. I may even purchase a house phone.  Life goes on.