Tonight is Christmas Eve Eve; otherwise known as December 23rd. As I once again sit at my computer, sifting through e-mail and scanning facebook, I find myself looking back on this past year. Often this is a bittersweet time. My kids are getting bigger and Christmas isn’t the same as it was when they were younger.
(I have no real complaints. It is still Christmas. It was just easier to thrill them when they were younger. The price of presents seem to increase with age.)
When I think about this past year and how little we have left of it, my first thought is “Thank God it’s almost over.” I am sure I will look back at some point in the future and think 2017 wasn’t really that bad. Yet, right now, I still feel haggard from the roughness of this year.
Challenging is a good word to describe most days of 2017. I am hoping 2018 is better.
Today has been a long day. This morning I went to the viewing of a dear mentor and friend. She passed away on Wednesday and I don’t think I have slept well since. I don’t really understand why I have been having trouble sleeping. I haven’t been racked with grief or guilt or anything. I just haven’t been able to turn my brain off. I’ve been having some trouble keeping up with school too. I am just so tired.
I have been thinking a lot about my friend these past few days. She was my teacher, then my friend. I learned so much; more than I realized. I have been reminiscing and sharing antidotes to other friends and family ever since I learn of her death. Some of them made me laugh others made me cry harder because such a wonderful person was no longer on this Earth.
I didn’t stay long at the viewing and I didn’t attend the funeral afterwards, even though we drove over an hour to do just that. They buried her in her uniform from her time as a volunteer and I can’t imagine anything more perfect. After I paid my respects to her family and saw her laying there I suddenly just wanted to go. I felt sad but at peace.
The funeral home was a crowded place too. She had touched a lot of lives and was a personality not soon forgotten. I felt like getting out of the way so others could have their turn to say goodbye.
Now I have to encourage my tired to brain to concentrate long enough to write a paper for one of my classes and then I can try to go to bed. Right now I feel like I could sleep for days. I hope my brain doesn’t decided to go into over drive again after I lay down.
Hello everyone. Long time, no chat. I know, I really should post more often but I did post a warning about my time being eaten by school, work, and kids.
So remember when I said I was going back to school in hopes that it would help me improve my writing? Well, I have managed to learn a few things.
- I prefer writing for myself instead of my class and my teachers.
- I have to unlearn how to simplify.
- Teachers seem to want long exploratory paragraphs and information dumps rather than just sticking to the point.
Number 3 somewhat baffles me. I mean, part of me understands. They want to know that you really know what you are talking about. Maybe I have learned to simplify too much? I used to read books that warned against information dumps in stories. I am beginning to fear I fixed something that wasn’t broken and now I have to unfix it.
I have to go to work in a few minutes and I have an exam tonight so that’s all for now. I just wanted to let people know I am still alive and my hiatus from my blog is only temporary. My posts may be irregular but they will still happen from time to time.
I left off last time with the surprize of my coworkers at the fact that I know a little Japanese. That really is just an example. I know just as much about them as they do about me, for the most part.
The people who sit on either side of me seem more real than the ones further down the row. I don’t get to interact with the others so they seem more flat. Then again the girl that sits directly behind me and I have chatted a few times and she is no more fleshed out to me than some of the others.
I write. I create characters with words and turn twenty six letters into people who could walk down the street or share a cup of coffee with you. At least that is the aim. Sometimes I fall short of that goal. As a writer I try to make my characters seem real. What does it mean that sometimes real people seem to be flat too?
Yes, I know everyone has a story. Usually, I try to discover those stories. Lately I have found myself not even bothering. I guess I may be peopled out. I have met a great amount of new faces in the last month.
I don’t think this is where I was originally going with this post but I seem to have somewhat lost the thread after my time limit explosion. I also have an annoying throbbing headache sitting above my left eyebrow that pain relievers and hydration don’t want to touch.
There is a story I have been trying to work on for months. It is just a simple short story I am writing for a friend. However, I can’t seem to finish it. I know how it should go and everything. It is all pretty much planned out. I just can’t seem to write the thing.
At first I thought it was because the main character was too flat. I thought maybe she hadn’t been molded properly, though she seems like a real person to me. Then I thought maybe that was the problem. I thought maybe she was too real life without those interesting bits you get with made up characters, but really that isn’t the case either. Maybe I need to just try it from a different angle.
Maybe that is what I need to do with the flat people at work too.
I will have to make this quick since my son will be taking over my computer in about twelve minutes. So imagine I am writing this with one of those MacGyver style bombs ticking down to world destruction. Also this may not be as free of errors as I would like because this is going out straight off the cuff.
Anyway, the point of this post is that I had an interesting thought while waiting for my coffee to drip into the cup. I blame my current school classes and my new job for this one. I even left my coffee on the counter, but the ticking clock says I don’t have enough time to go get it.
Why do we always see people as two dimensional? I mean you can talk to someone everyday and many people will just see that person they say hi to at work. You might know their name. You might know if they have kids or if they are new to the job, but really that just colors in the outline a little.
Yesterday at work I had a gentleman call needing my assistance in a repair. He was well spoken but admitted English wasn’t his first language so that there may be some difficulty. I asked what his first language was and he answered Japanese.
I speak a little Japanese. I wouldn’t say I know it well enough to properly communicate but if I were magically transported to Tokyo right now; I know enough to find the bathroom, order food, find the American Embassy (wouldn’t that be interesting to explain), or ask directions.
I was able to greet the gentleman in Japanese and explain (also in Japanese) that I could understand a little. The call ended with us both saying goodbye and thank you in his native tongue and me grinning like an idiot.
Japanese is something I try to learn on my own as fun. (I do have Rosetta Stone) It is rare that I get to actually use it. It made me feel great to be able make it a useful skill. I had to tell someone, so I turned to my coworkers and told them I just got to speak to someone in Japanese.
I am the new chick. They don’t know much about me yet, but they were all shocked. I don’t know why though…..
Crap, time has expired and the bomb has blown. Time to take care of collateral damage. (It’s blonde, four feet tall and glaring at me) 2D views in a 3D world.
This is the last day of Libertycon 29. As I sit here with the rolling wave of voices rising and falling around me, I am already longing for next year. My life has gone through some changes recently and the comfort of this convention has wrapped around me like a familiar blanket fresh from the dryer.
It may seem odd to feel so at home in this sea of people, especially since crowds are something I try to avoid. However, these aren’t just people. They are my people. My clan. My tribe. Family separated by time, distance, and blood but not in spirit.
I don’t even know a great many of the people here. Yet I am at peace because all around me are readers, writers, and artists. Here my quirks are understood and sometimes even applauded.
It has been a much-needed reprieve. Tomorrow I start a new job. In August I start back to school. With all the new beginnings and the uncertain footing seeing friends and those who feel like family before embarking on these journeys gives me the support and the courage to keep taking steps forward.
Yesterday my parents were sitting in thier front yard enjoying the cooling evening. My mom saw movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see their large black and white cat attacking something behind her car. She pointed it out to my dad, thinking the cat had found a beetle or something.
They watched for a moment as the cat swatted at whatever it was then leaped back before going on the offensive again. His retreat was out of proportion for a battle with something small like a bug and made my parents suspect he was fighting something bigger. Taking a shovel with him, my dad walked around the end of the car just as a snake struck at the cat.
The cat avoid the attack and my dad brought the sharp end of the shovel down hard on the back of the snake’s head, severing it from the body. ( It was a poisonous copper head or he wouldn’t have killed it.) The he scooped the still wriggling snake pieces up with the shovel and carried them off to the edge of the woods, knowing a hawk or crow would eventually find them and enjoy the snack.
Remember to watch you step if you are outside or in your garage. Many snakes like shady spots as much as they like warm places.