This is the third time I have sat down to write this morning’s post. For some reason it is more difficult that usual. Words are hard. They don’t want to pour from my fingertips right now. Instead I have to siphon each and every one and my fingers on the keyboard feel large and awkward.
I am still writing. It has taken me three tries, but I am covering the glaring white page. The progress is slow but each word is another small step forward.
Sometimes writing is like that. Sometimes it flows and sometimes it only trickles. It is still important to show up at the keyboard and pound those words out, even when it is almost painful to do so. If I give up just because it is hard, then I don’t deserve the days when it comes easy.
The muse is lazy. She doesn’t always show up. Sometimes you just have to write without her.
Good morning all and special shout out to the new friends I made this morning while the registers were down. (*Waves* Hi Samantha!) It took me a little longer to leave the store, but it all worked out in the end. Sometimes things that should be irritations work to our benefit. It’s not always easy to see it that way but I am happy when I can.
In case you are wondering why I was out and about before the sun, I took the kids out for pancakes before the rest of the world became too crowded. I am doing much better. I’ve had a few anxiety attacks since my last post but no more panic attacks.
I have taken the precautions of avoid large crowds when I can and I’ve cut out most caffeine for now. For frequent readers of my blog, you know of my love of tea and coffee so this has been difficult. I bought decaf but I just can’t bring myself to drink it. Silly, I know.
I haven’t managed a lot of writing over the last few days. I tire a lot easier right now than I normally do. Most of my concentration has been spent on feeling better and household tasks. However, I plan on spending a lot of time catching up on writing today. I have several books that really need to be finished. I guess I better get to it.
To Whom it may concern:
There will not be a post today. The author of this blog was just diagnosed with the flu. She has cocooned herself in blankets and plans to stay there until she feels better or crosses over, whichever happens first. Well wishes are appreciated. She will return at a later date for a proper blog post. Unless she dies. Then she will be a ghost writer…
Yeah, I’m feeling like death warmed over guys. I’ll post again when I’m not.
A Monday Lament from a Night Walker
My back aches
My shoulder hurts
I want to go back to bed
My bones creak
My brain’s still asleep
I hurt to much to be dead
My coffee is faulty
My movements are halting
Monday has come around
I worked the weekend
And work tomorrow too
Yet I am still Monday down
Monday’s have their pull
On the working world
It doesn’t matter when they come
At the beginning of the week,
In the middle, At the end,
Even after the setting sun.
Yesterday on Facebook, I saw that a friend posted about the death of Sir Terry Pratchett. I was on my phone waiting in line for school to let out so I didn’t investigate. I simply posted a question back and then made a mental note to look it up later, because surely it was some kind of mistake.
There are websites out there who go around posting fake celebrity deaths, so I thought she must have fallen for one of those. We just lost Leonard Nimoy, surely Death wouldn’t take Sir Terry from us on the heels of losing Spock. It turns out I was wrong.
This morning I found that mental note, among the rest of the detritus in my head, and investigated. We did indeed lose Sir Terry Pratchett and another piece of my heart has traveled to the other side with him.
I never met Sir Terry, but I read his books. I loved them. I still do.
If someone came to me with a magic pen and said: “This will let you write in your own voice but with the genius of another writer, but you can only pick one…” I wouldn’t have used the pen because there is always a catch with those things; but if I had been foolish enough to give it a go, Sir Terry would have been the writer I picked. His talent is something I will always look up to.
Another one of my heroes has passed and left me with only memories. Funny how that works. Robin Williams, Leonard Nimoy, Sir Terry Pratchett…I never met any of them but some how my world has been brighter with an extra dose of hope and magic in it because they lived.
Customers shake their heads and give me pitying looks at work when they realize I work all night. Usually I smile and say something along the lines of : “It’s not that bad.” Or “The days off make up for the late hours.” Most of the time that is true.
However, some weeks that is a lie. So instead I say, “I have plenty of coffee.” Which is also true. What I don’t say is that some nights there isn’t enough coffee in the world.
Today I woke up at noon. For you day walkers, think of it as laying down at 8pm and waking up at midnight. It wouldn’t be a big deal if I didn’t do the same thing yesterday as well. (The day before that I slept great.)
This is going to be a long night and one of our more busy ones. If I get my hands on the sand man, I am going to tell him whomever he has doing deliveries during the day is slacking off. Then he will probably mumble something about hours being cut, staff not fully trained yet, or that they recently changed suppliers. *sigh*
I am sitting on my couch with a warm cup of tea to my left and a cat taking up most of my lap. The cat, Casper, is making it very difficult to type; but in typical cat fashion he is ignoring my problems and attempting to shove his head under the keyboard to keep the light out of his eyes.
My son is also asleep on the couch and he occasionally kicks me. This makes the task of writing even more interesting. Both kids have been down with the flu. They are starting to feel better now though.
I am not yet caffeinated and it is a quarter to five on a Sunday morning. I should be asleep but my face hurts. My sinus are acting up. I took medicine but it has yet to kick in.
So why am I posting here on this dark cold early morning? Heck if I know. I sat down and needed to write and this is where I ended up. Maybe it is guilt for missing last Monday.
I’ve been having one of those “I am an awful writer” moods, where I want to give the whole thing up, toss in the towel, and let the writing ship sail off without me. I have these from time to time. I doubt I’ll actually “give up” but I am depressed about it. Eventually, I will give myself a swift kick in the pants and get back to work. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.