It’s Sunday again. Last week went by quickly. Last night, not so much. I had an awful time trying to sleep. Usually, the sound of rain on the tin roof soothes me and I sleep well. Last night anxiety and worries kept me awake. I tossed and turned fretting about the upcoming week.
I have two substitute teaching assignments lined up. I’m not sure what I am teaching on Monday but on Tuesday I get to teach English and Writing.
I feel fairly confident in my ability to do so but I still kept myself up last night thinking about what I was going to say. I don’t even know the lesson plan. I’m just kind of excited to do something I like and that I am good at.
So far I’ve loved substitute teaching. The young ones last week left me the most tired so far and I could finally feel my patience start to wane there at the end. I was tired. The kids were tired. We all needed a nap but had to stay until a quarter to four. All of the kids survived intact and so did I.
I also learned a valuable lesson the other teacher already knew. Hoard caffeinated drinks. You will need them. I thought it a little odd when she slipped away to the teacher’s lounge and came back with three or four sodas from the machine. By three o’clock I understood her wisdom and made a soda run of my own. That Dr. Pepper got me through to the end of the day.
Next week I teach middle school. I guess that is where some of my apprehension is coming from. It’s a new class, new kids, new subject. I want to do a good job but there is only so much I can plan. I like having my plans. I am less likely to screw something up if I have a plan.
Instead, I have to rely on the actual teacher to leave me a plan to follow and hope that they do it in such a way that I can understand what is expected of me and the students. I’m putting a lot of faith in a possible stranger. I have to trust that they know what they are doing and pretend I know what I’m doing.
I think that was the hardest part of that last assignment. I wasn’t given a timeline or a lesson plan so I didn’t know what was expected. I didn’t know when the kids went to lunch or had snack time. I was just there to replace the assistant teacher so I guess they didn’t think to leave instructions for me. I finally noticed a sign on the wall that listed lunchtimes and when they would leave for the bus and everything but the day was almost over by then.
Next week my dad also goes in for surgery to remove the cancer from his face. I am a bit nervous about that as well. I am sure everything will go smoothly but I think that most of my anxiety about next week stems from the impending operation. My brain has just transferred it to worrying about work.