Worries By Moonlight

moonlightIt is roughly 4:30 in the morning where I am right now. I have an alarm set to wake me up at 8:15. No, I am not sleep typing and I didn’t write this in advance and set it to post at dark thirty.

I am awake even though I don’t want to be. I imagine I will want to be awake even less around 8:15. I took a sleep aid, a warm shower, and read The Hobbit to my son for two hours. He fell asleep but I didn’t. I can seem to turn my brain off.

barrel-373040_1280I close my eyes and imagine barrels, heavy laden with dwarves, bobbing down a cold river and then my brain shifts to all the things I need to do before 2 PM and the imagination bubble pops. Out of desperation I am now trying cold cereal.

I agreed to go watch the new Jurassic Park movie after 2:00, so everything that I can accomplish needs to be done before then. I can’t put anything off because my son has plans on Tuesday and I go back to work Wednesday.  I can’t even say my to do list contains a lot of writing. It is more like doctor’s appointments and phone calls.

I really need to get this home schooling thing sorted before I have to go back to work. I need to return to the doctor for a follow up on some blood work.(I was supposed to last Wednesday but skipped out because I was exhausted.) I have to set up an appointment for my son. (I’ve forgotten that one for three weeks in a row.) And my daughter needs to get a shot before they will let her back to school this fall.

Really the home schooling is the one I am stressing out over the most. With doctor’s and things I kind of know what to expect. Home school is an unknown variable for me. I don’t have enough information to begin making a plan.

I even gave the poor dog a bath at 1 AM, thinking that maybe if I got at least one thing off my list I would sleep better. The dog was confused but didn’t fight me. He seems to be sleeping well too.

This sleeplessness has been a running theme for me lately. I am tired but I can’t sleep. My brain just won’t go into standby mode. However, my bowl is now empty and the house is two degrees cooler because I fiddled with the thermostat. I guess I will go give it another shot. Maybe writing down my worries has helped.

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