There are days were I can handle people and days when I can’t. Today is not one of the can days. When I say people, I don’t mean stupid people or mean people, I just mean people who are not very close friends or family. (Though there are days that I can’t handle anyone at all.) I am an introvert, (surprise,surprise, a lot of writers are) but I am kind of in that border line area where sometimes I can almost seem like an extrovert. I can talk to groups of strangers and enjoy myself at large gatherings….sometimes.
Then there are days like today where I was done in by talking to a cashier at the grocery store (I was only in there for about 5 minutes total) and the guy behind the counter at the post office. (I was mailing couple of letters to my friend who teaches in Japan.)
Leaving the post office I felt sick to my stomach and shaky. I’m not ill or coming down with anything. It’s just one of those days where talking to strangers makes me want to curl up in a ball and makes my head ache.
What makes it even worse is on days like this I have trouble talking too. I can force myself to speak but what comes out usually leaves the person on the receiving end needing more information. Like at the post office. Instead of saying “I would like to mail these letters to Japan please.” What came out is “I need to send these to Japan but I’ve never mailed anything over seas before.” Both too much and not enough info. The guy at the counter took it in stride and was nice and everything but I know my face was blending in with my red scarf. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough and he had to call me back for my receipt which only made me feel worse.